Do It Yourself: Teeth Whitening (Thanks, Shelli!)

Guys, isn't this sexy?

I have mentioned plenty of times how awkward I was growing up.  Super awk.  Like most middle schoolers, I had braces, and after three traumatic years, I finally got rid of them.  I immediately begged my mother to get my teeth whitened, as my older sister did the same after her braces were off, and she complied.  Oh, maybe I should mention my teeth are ultra sensitive and getting them whitened was one of the worst experiences of my life.  I can't even tell you how uncomfortable the process is.  Peep the image to the right.  (Cost: about $500 - $900)

A few years back, I decided to try Crest Whitening Strips.  Easy enough, right?  Totally wrong.  Who wants to sit around and wait with these ALSO uncomfortable strips on your teeth, not able to talk and randomly salivating when your mouth is supposed to be dry?  Not me.  (Cost: about $32 - $67)

Bottom line: whitening teeth is expensive, and the process sucks.  But, thanks to my lovely friend Michelle Loizeaux, I've learned that it doesn't have to be expensive, and it can take less than 5 minutes a day.

I present to you: Activated Charcoal. (Cost: $7.99, 100 capsules)

Image via the Vitamin Shoppe

Activated charcoal, as defined by Vitamin Shoppe: "One of the finest natural adsorbent agents.  Each particle contains many small chambers and cavities that 'capture' or bind up unwanted materials and gas, which are safely carried out of the digestive system."  Sounds pretty gross to me, too, but don't worry, you don't actually swallow it.

Here's what to do:

1.  Take a capsule, open it, and empty its contents into a glass.

2.  Add a tiny bit of water to the black powder.

3.  Swish it around in your mouth for a few minutes.

4.  Spit it out.

5.  Repeat this process every night for about two weeks, and you should notice a difference in your teeth.  After two weeks, you can switch to every other day, for as long as you feel necessary.

It's cheap.  It's quick.  It's pain-free.  I know, the black powder is slightly creepy, and sometimes it stains your tongue, and sometimes trying to take apart the capsule is a bitch, but it's been working for me!  And duh, white teeth are always in style.  Plus, you'll have a ton of capsules left over, so feel free to pass it along to your family, friends, coworkers, and roommates!  Just try not to make it look like a drug deal.

Lolz.

Interested in buying some activated charcoal?  Have any other teeth whitening options for a tight budget?  Comment away!